We are all relational beings. Nothing can exist alone, and neither can we. This means we are all psychologically structured in exactly the same way.
We all must continue being. We tend to continue being who we are because not to do so would be self-contradictory and all self-contradictions are illogical and impossible.
We all must be confirmed by our relational environment. The confirmations we receive may be affirming or contradicting. When “who we are” is positively valued by our environment, we feel positive. But when that confirmation is negative, we feel a negative impact.
Our behavior is a logical response to the confirmations we receive from our environment. Does this mean others will see our behavior as logical? Of course not! But, once we understand how we are all structured, our behavior—and the behavior of others—always makes sense.
“Who we are” is defined by our needs and our wants. In other words, our goals point to the “self” we identify as, and seeking out our goals propels our lives to continue.
Real life example:
Jack has been a painter his entire life (“he is” an artist). Just recently, his country’s prime minister commissioned a painting of the Tower Bridge for 10 Downing Street. Jack is elated! An important part of his environment has affirmed (positively confirmed) “who he is,” and as a result, he feels encouraged to behave in kind. Those who understand the Structure, understand why Jack behaves the way he does.
Real life example:
Mary must finish a report for her boss before 10:00 a.m. and then see her dentist at noon; both of these situations feel like contradictions (negative relational confirmations). As a result, Mary is sad instead of happy, negative instead of positive. She doesn’t like demands nor visits to the dentist; neither constitutes her goals (“who she is”). Anticipating the day, Mary slept poorly and was grumpy that morning. To those who know how Mary is structured, her negative behavior makes perfect sense and is entirely logical. Without knowledge of The Structure, others may misinterpret and unfairly judge the way Mary is taking life that morning..
