Knowing how we’re structured is the first step to psychological wellness.
Structured Psychology explores why we all think, feel, and do the things we do.
The absolute obligation to relate to the world around
us is not a choice we make;
it is life’s most basic
imperative. Either we are
relationally active, or
life is simply not possible.
Existence is a relational event
Relating to our environment is essential to our existence. All living things begin as a series of complex genetic components that determine immutable characteristics and behavioral tendencies. Our genes, however, are not stand-alone entities. As with everything in existence, no genetically endowed object or event can exist unless it is in relationship with its environment. In essence, for any living thing to be who or what it is, it must be in relationship with the world around it or cease to be. And since we humans exist, it quite naturally follows that so must we be in relationship with our environments.
Life is governed by a clearly defined Structure, without which human behavior would not be possible.
The Structure that guides us
Existence is a rigorously logical reality that consists of three fundamental characteristics. The absolute obligation to relate to the world around us is not a choice we make; it is life’s most basic imperative. Either we are relationally active, or life is simply not possible. Life is governed by a clearly defined Structure, without which nothing can exist, and is guided by the three basic characteristics listed below. The three existential imperatives that set in motion the existence of all living things and the behavioral consequences of that existence consist of three basic imperatives: relational activity, continuance of that activity, and confirmation of same.
Structured Psychology
examines the true causes
of human behavior.
Watch: Understanding human behavior
Nothing can exist unless it enters into relationship with the world around it. Indeed, this singular realization forms the principal pillar of why we humans think, feel, and behave the way we do. Nothing is possible without life’s relational activity; nothing can “be.” Extrapolating from this understanding, life implicitly becomes synonymous with relational activity and relational activity with life. And yes, existence is an abstract concept and, therefore, an unfamiliar notion for many. Still, realize that all abstractions are as concretely anchored as is our physical world itself. In short, abstraction is not possible without a physical point of reference or counterpart; one can’t contemplate existence without a physical representation of that existence.
When we relate to something, we need and expect a confirmation of that relationship; without it, no relationship can be said to have occurred. The relational echo or feedback we receive from the people and things we relate to either affirms “who we are” (our needs and goals) or does just the opposite and contradicts us. With these facts in mind, it is easy to see how we become “who we are” and continue “being.” We “are” the sum total of all the confirmations (both negative and positive) we’ve received since conception, along with how those confirmations have affected us psychologically. Positive confirmations logically enrich our lives, while negative or contradictory confirmations damage them.
Simple logic dictates that if we exist, it is imperative that we continue doing so. (To exist but not continue existing would be a gross logical contradiction). And the reason why our futures are psychologically vital to us is that they confirm that who we are continues to maintain its rigorously logical status of “being.”
Who you are psychologically depends entirely on who you are genetically as you form relationships to everything you see, hear, taste, smell, and feel.
The human "self"
You are “you” (your needs and goals) plus all the relationships you establish during your lifetime. In reality, trying to list all the ways “you” can be defined would be exhausting. Structurally speaking, however, you can be defined by who you are genetically in absolute synergy with everything you’ve ever come into relational contact with. Remember, according to The Structure’s imperatives, the only way you can exist at all is relationally. Therefore, everything you are is the result of who you are genetically in relationship with every relational experience you’ve ever had and will continue having, as those experiences are being confirmed by the world around you. That’s who you are! And when someone or something attempts to contradict that reality, quite logically, a conflict will occur, and it will be of the negative variety.
Your sense of self—
the person you are,
your identity—is
environmentally driven.
Watch: Let’s talk about your “self”
The “self” is born
from without,
not from within.
Contradictions are not logical
No living thing can remain alive if it’s relationally disconnected from its environment. That’s why we humans depend so radically on the confirmations of our existence that we receive from those around us. It’s only logical that when we look into life’s mirror (a service provided by the environment we relate to, in relationship with the existential imperative of confirmation), we look to verify that our needs and goals are shared by the environment that has become an essential part of who we are. In other words, due to The Structure, our psychological sense of well-being requires that our relational environment accept and approve of who we are. Sometimes, however (and quite logically so), instead of having our needs, goals, and values positively confirmed, the opposite occurs, and we find ourselves face-to-face with contradiction instead of affirmation.
Existential contradiction
is a form of negative
relational confirmation.
Watch: Contradictions are not logical.
Logic and self-contradiction
The reason behind our inability to identify with contradiction—in any and all of its manifestations—is that, structurally speaking, we form an integral part of the environment we relate to. This means that when our environment becomes logically contradictory or impossible, we will implicitly reject that logical impossibility.
For example, as we relate to those around us (thereby allowing us to structurally continue living), those people and things we relate to become an essential part of who we are, and we become an essential part of who they are. Being that this relational dynamic is necessary and, therefore, immutable, if any object or relational event contradicts one of our needs or goals, a logical contradiction will occur, and we will behave in opposition to that contradiction. We have no other choice. That’s just the way we’re structured.
If any object or relational
event contradicts one
of our needs or goals,
a logical contradiction
will occur, and we will
behave in opposition to
that contradiction.
Relational polarity and the human condition
All human actions require a subject and an object. If, for example, you have a relationship with your father, you will be the subject of that relationship, and your father will be the object. And if he has a relationship with you, the same subject/object scenario will be activated, only this time from your father’s perspective. In that case, your father will be the subject of that relationship, with you taking on the role of being your father’s object. And yet no matter what takes place in that relationship, you will logically identify every action you take with who you are. If you sing a song, sweep the stairs, cook an egg, or write a poem, you and only you will be the subject of those actions. That’s only logical, as they are your actions (AKA who you are).
Don’t tell me what to do!
The relational dynamics of demands
When someone demands or expects something from you, you are no longer the subject of the demanded action. Now, divorced from your necessary role of being the subject of your behavior you’ve been demanded to take, you will either be unable to complete the demand in question or in urgent need of clarifying the relational polarity of the demand itself. After all, you are a rigidly logical relational being.
Now, since whomever has made the demand has become the subject of the demanded action, you will immediately experience a contradiction. (Demands are contradictory to the logical reality associated with all relationships.) Given that all living things are logically structured, this type of relational experience renders one incapable of completing the demand in question—we can’t do the logically impossible because we are logically structured.
Consequently, if all those involved in any given demand scenario clearly understand the actual polarity of the demand, the demand can be completed. For example, if someone requires you to sweep the floor, as long as you can demonstrate, in one way or another, that you are not the subject of what is demanded of you, the demand can be culminated. In this example, a simple frown, side-to-side shake of the head, sigh of non-conformity, or any other indication that the action you’re about to take is not yours will reestablish the correct polarity of the demand so the demand can be completed. Absent such a clarification, however, the demanded behavior cannot be fulfilled. So unless we have made it clear to all involved (especially ourselves) that we have chosen to take on a demand or series of demands voluntarily (we join a branch of the military, a club, social or religious group, sports team, or engage ourselves in formal employment), we will be logically deterred from fulfilling anything that is being asked of us.
Where demands are concerned, either the demand’s logical polarity is clearly understood by all, or no demand can be completed.
