The perception of “control” is a purely contextual experience or event. This is why when you are in control of a relationship, that relationship’s full emotional impact cannot be felt. It can’t be felt because it is only contextually relevant or, if you wish, not directly related to the Ego. Non-contextual events, however, or those contextual events which are out of a subject’s control are “directly” relatable not only to the “self” but to the Ego as well.