In order for any relationship to work it must have the correct subject-object polarity or the relationship will contradict the Structure. In a word, all relational activity (behavior) requires that the subject sense that it is the subject of the relationship, and the object is the object. No matter how you behave, you must feel that your behavior is “yours.”
Since the Structure must always remain true to its own reality, it is structurally impossible that any “subject” carry out an “objective” task as though the subject were the object of that task and not that which it “really” is: The subject.
Those who are systematically sensitive to all forms of contradiction, often rebel against its presence when it appears in the form of demand, forcing them to reject authority. They have no choice. Authority contradicts the polarity of their relational lives. They feel they are “expected” to follow rules that they have not first OK’d as “theirs.” This is why smart organizers in rule-heavy environments (boy scout groups, security companies, summer camps, police forces, school environments, the military etc) will often place the rebellious as authority figures themselves. This creates a shift in the rebel’s relational polarity allowing rules not only to be followed, but to be followed to a “T.” Now, after all, the “rule or demand enforcer” can neutralize contradictions created by not having ‘followed the rules’ in the past.
As stated before, demands are completed every day. If your boss “demands” you to perform a specific task, the task can be easily completed because in a work environment, there is no polar contradiction. You may not be the subject of the action you have been demanded to do but that’s just fine. It’s part of the job you voluntarily signed up to do. Your boss, in such a case, will be the true subject of the tasks you must perform, but that’s why you work for him / her, and not yourself. There is no polar contradiction when everybody is on the same relational page.
A similar process takes place when completing a demand on a subject’s “own terms” or on their “own accord.” Doing something on “one’s own terms” maintains the relational polarity and the demand can be completed; a scenario often seen during acts of “compensation. This holds equally true if the subject voluntarily submits to demand. “Voluntarily” joining the army, a sports team, community project etc, are good examples of demand situations in which correct relational polarity is maintained and demands can be fulfilled.
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